Apart from listening non-stop to Sam Cooke in the past week, there has recently been a few changes in the inner workings of my life. Unprecedented and quite out of the blue. My feelings on all my plans for the near future have changed, and I’m not truly sure on the reasons or causes as to why. A week ago I somehow started searching for a 9 to 5, uncreative, routine, run-of-the-mill office job to live that kind of horribly unattractive life that so many still desire. The life that many find comfortable, but that I would bore myself to death with.
It’s not bad in the way I’m talking about it, but I never saw myself doing this. My brain was constantly telling itself that I probably would never do it. I was cynical about that kind of life. It’s not the hours, or the lack of creativity, or the boring job description, but all of those things combined. The only plus I could side with before was that it lead to a ‘comfortable’ life, and that was low on my priority list.
I was set on learning design and fashion technology. I enjoyed it too. I found it exhilarating, and even the most stressful moments I felt were worth it. I would happily stay up 30+ hours just to fit in doing assignments after class and work. There were no complaints coming from me, except the occasional I’m tired. But I was very content and always had a smile on my face. Maybe I was a little crazy too haha! Well that was one year of my life, and I was completely ready to do it one more time.
Then I decided to put off the course. I wanted to focus on saving for future travel plans instead, and a looser calendar. If I wanted to visit my family it would be at the busiest and most crucial point of my course. Then I told my manager I’d be leaving to find a new job. It had been getting quite slow there anyways, and a few work mates were all wanting more hours. I had been there nearly 3 years, but it would be the perfect time to head out.
As for design, I can do that on my time off. Hopefully. I get the real weekends now, but I’ve had that before, and those 2 days go by so quickly. I will have to find an extra bucket of motivation and gallons of inspiration to achieve what I would really like to. To be lured into the comfortable life, where I end up doing what everyone else does, and not challenging myself or straying out of my comfort zone, will just bring me back to who I was a few years ago. I’m hoping, I’m really hoping, that I can pull this off.
Artless Dreamer 